So This Happened

I’ve been living here in Iloilo City for a bit over 6 months now. It feels like just yesterday that I got here, and at the same time it feels like I’ve been here forever. I will interpret that as a good thing; it feels new and fresh and exciting, and at the same time it feels like I’m settled and in place. When I tried settling in Tennessee, I never had that feeling of being in my place.

After I had been here a while, I met and dated a woman a few times. She was nice and we got along alright, but there wasn’t any spark between us so we ended that. That’s alright, I certainly didn’t expect the first woman I met to be my soulmate.

Then I met Eden. Our first date was a walk along the Esplanade on a Saturday evening, followed by pizza at Giuseppe’s. At the end of the night I asked her if she would take me someplace for Filipino food the next day, and she agreed. We started at the food court in SM City for batchoy, then we wandered around and talked for a while, and ended up at Pedro Bulalohan a couple of hours later for several dishes I didn’t recognize, and don’t now recall. I do remember we ordered way too much food for 2 of us, so we ended up taking the leftovers over to Inday’s (Eden’s nickname is Inday) workplace and sharing it with her colleagues.

That day out continued into the evening, when we finally ended up in Molo Plaza. It being Christmas season, which in the Philippines runs from September to January, the plaza was lit up with Christmas lights, and being Sunday evening it was crowded with families. At Christmas time small groups of children go around singing Christmas carols, and in exchange you give them a few coins. After one trio sang for us, Inday opened her purse and took out coins to give the kids. Afterwards I said something to her about not giving away all her money, and she replied “That’s okay. Those are the coins I didn’t spend for my food today because I am with you.” That made a big impression on me, because that’s the kind of person Inday is.

So, we’ve been together every single day since then. Has every moment been perfect? Of course not. There are cultural differences to adapt to in each other. There are food differences. I’ve eaten more rice in the last six months than I have in my entire life pre-Philippines! Eden speaks excellent English, but in the beginning I could tell that having to speak English constantly was wearying for her. And anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty rigid. I doubt anyone has ever described me as being flexible or easy going or anything similar. But we’re good together. Really good.

A few weeks after we met, we made the trip up to Barotac Viejo so I could meet Inday’s family. I met her mom and dad, her 5-year-old son Edrian, and several of her 6 sisters, and various children and neighbors.

I never expected to meet somebody and be in a committed relationship so soon after arriving here. Just before I met Inday I had committed to a 12-month lease on a 1-bedroom condo here in Iloilo. It was plenty of room just for myself, but now there are three of us.

As of this last Saturday, we have been together for 6 months. We are now engaged and planning a December wedding, on Inday’s birthday. We have plans for our life together, but more on that later. For now, I just wanted to introduce you to Eden and Edrian, and share the part they play in my life now. I will add here that my daughter Anju has agreed to be my “Best Woman” and stand up with me at our wedding. That makes me very happy. I’m looking forward to her being here for the wedding and Christmas and New Years, and seeing what my new life is like.

The Barangay Captain, The District Hospital, and Zooming Through The Night

Okay, the Barangay Captain doesn’t actually have anything to do with our story, although we did see him while we were in the Barangay Hall. I just think it helped make for a good title.

Sometime last week we were in SM City shopping, and noticed a banner advertising a summer sports program for kids in Iloilo City. Inday wants to sign Edrian up for this, and one of the requirements is a Barangay Clearance to prove residence.

For my Western friends, a barangay is the smallest political division in the Philippines. A city or town is made up of multiple barangays. Iloilo City, for instance, has 180 barangays. You can think of it as a neighborhood. Each barangay has an elected captain and elected council members.

So, on Tuesday morning Inday and I walked over to the Barangay Hall for the barangay that includes our condo, in order to ask for a Clearance for Edrian. Since we never registered with the barangay when we moved here, we had to do that first. The clerk came out and sat down with us to interview us, and fill out our information in a surprisingly large, multi-page booklet. He recorded information about each of us including name, birth date, religion, educational attainment, where we lived prior to moving to Barangay San Rafael, and our reason for moving here. For the household, he asked what our source for drinking water is, what fuel we primarily use to cook, and how we dispose of our kitchen waste. And at the end of all this, they printed up Edrian’s Barangay Clearance, stating his full name, that he is a resident of Barangay San Rafael, he is of good character, and the barangay officials know of no complaints or actions against him.

Meanwhile, back on Monday morning Edrian had woken up and the little guy’s face was all swollen in an obvious allergic reaction to something, although he wasn’t complaining about anything. Inday had been planning to bring him to Barotac Viejo to stay with his grandmother, and she decided to carry on with that plan, but with the addition that when they got to Barotac Viejo she first took Edrian to the babaylan, and then to the doctor. The doctor ordered some tests, and prescribed medication. Inday spent the day there with her family, and in the evening Edrian was feeling good and wanted to stay with Grandma, so Inday came home alone.

Fast forward to Tuesday night, and about 8:30 or so Inday got a call from her mom telling us that Edrian had been complaining it was hard to breathe so they were taking him to the hospital. The fastest way for us to get up there is by car, so I booked a Grab Car and off we went. We got to the hospital a few minutes after 10:00, and Inday’s mom and two of her sisters were there with Edrian. He was doing okay, sitting on the bed with one of his titas (aunts). The doctor wanted a chest x-ray and some blood tests, so we paid for those, and were told we would have to wait 3 to 4 hours for the results. Fortunately it only took a couple of hours, so a bit after midnight they told us all the tests were negative, and they did one last check of his vitals before telling us he could leave about 12:30.

So now we’re sitting outside the hospital in the middle of the night with a 5-year-old, and we need to find a way back to Iloilo City. The obvious choice is to book another Grab Car, but after multiple attempts we always got the “No Drivers Available” response. The buses don’t run overnight, and the first bus in the morning is at 4:00AM. Fortunately, Inday is a resourceful woman. She had the phone number for a Grab driver who had told her previously that he was available as a hired driver for day trips and such, so she called him and he agreed to drive up to Barotac Viejo and pick us up. It’s a bit over an hour drive, so we settled down to wait and he showed up about a quarter to two. Finally, we were on our way, and after a stop at Inday’s parents’ place to pick up Edrian’s medications from the day before, we were off and got home a couple of minutes after 3:00AM.

This morning Edrian was still very itchy, still had hives all over his body, and was complaining that his tummy hurt, so Inday called his pediatrician. She doesn’t have office hours here today, but told us to bring him to the ER at the hospital down the street, where her office is. We did that; they checked him over, reviewed all the tests that had been done up in the province, called his pediatrician and filled her in, and she said he should be fine, we just need to allow time for his medications to work, and made an appointment to see him on Monday. The ER didn’t even charge us for the visit. Can you imagine that happening in the States? I can’t.

I’ve been thinking about buying a car so we can easily take trips around Panay, but have been put off by the cost of parking here at the condo. A parking spot in the garage costs about 5500 – 6000 pesos per month. In a typical month we don’t spend anywhere near that amount for transportation. A Grab ride across town is a couple hundred pesos. But last night’s experience is, in my mind, a pretty strong argument for having our own car. So now we’re re-evaluating.

Some Random Observations

As the title says, this will just be some random vignettes of my life here in Iloilo City.

Inday and I went to SM Supermarket, which is in SM City, the large mall. We came out with a cart full of shopping bags, ordered a Grab car to bring us home, and when the car arrived the driver jumped out and opened the back of his car to load our bundles. One of the mall security guards, with his long gun strapped across his chest, came up and started helping the driver load everything in the back of the car. It was all done so fast, we didn’t even have a chance to help. Then the guard smiled, waved, and walked off.

Once the Grab driver dropped us off at home, as we approached the lobby door one of the building staff opened the door and greeted us as we entered, then he pushed the elevator call button for us, and when the door opened and we got in, he reached in to push Floor 3 for us so we wouldn’t need to do that with our hands full. I have no idea how they manage to remember that we live on the 3rd floor. There are 7 floors of condos in this building.

Does anybody remember the arcade game Frogger, from back in the 80’s? Crossing the road here is like a game of live-action Frogger. If the road has two lanes in each direction, then there could be three lanes of traffic in each direction, plus motorbikes filtering by on either side and in between. There are signs directing drivers to Yield To Pedestrians In Crosswalk. They are a total waste of time and materials. Nobody stops. When I first got here my strategy was simple: I’d stand on the curb and wait until some locals ventured forth to cross the road, and I’d shadow them. I’ve become marginally competent at crossing the road now, although Inday still thinks I’m not to be trusted on my own and always takes my hand so she can steer me across the road. To be fair, I did nearly get run down by a motorbike right in front of her once. But only once!

Filipinos typically eat using a fork and a spoon. I’ve actually adopted this method at home, although I use the spoon to help load food onto my fork, while Inday uses her fork to push food onto her spoon. In restaurants the staff will sometimes give Inday a fork and spoon, and will give me a fork and a knife. I get a chuckle from that every time!

Back in the States people lament the rise of cellphone addiction. It is nothing like what it is here. Nothing! People seem to be glued to their phones every waking moment. More than once I’ve had Filipinos walk right into me while staring at their phone screen.

When we moved to this condo, there was no toaster. I need to have my toast in the morning, so we headed off to the SM Store to buy a toaster. When you buy something in the Philippines, the store staff will unpack whatever it is and make sure it works before you pay for it and leave. So the sales clerk took the toaster out of the box, plugged it in, made sure it heated up, then packed it back into the box and sent us on our way to the checkout.

Similarly, Inday bought a toy train for her son Edrian, and the store staff unpacked the little train, put the batteries in it, and made sure it ran on the track. Then they packed it all back up, checked us out, and sent us on our way.

Okay, that’s it. Nothing important and profound. Just a few snippets about adjusting to life here. I hope it was worth the few minutes to read.

Week One Is In The Books

I’ve been here in Iloilo City for a week now. It feels like I’ve been busy, but at the same time not busy at all.

When my flight landed at the crack of dawn in Iloilo last Friday, I was met at the airport by two other expats living here who I had connected with on Facebook. Chris and Mary were so kind to pick me up and drive me to the condo I had rented on Airbnb. It made a wonderful start to my time here.

Since then I’ve figured out my neighborhood a bit. I’ve shopped for groceries a couple of times. I either run or walk on the Esplanade most every morning.

There are some things I need to do to settle in here. One of those is to get a Philippine phone number. My US number is with Google Fi, which works in most countries in the world. Here in the Philippines, Fi uses Globe’s network. Since Globe and Smart are the two big players here, I chose Smart for my local SIM. This way, I should have coverage most anywhere I go.

I tried to buy an eSIM from Smart via their website, but in order to complete the checkout, they require a Philippine phone number. So I went to the Smart store in the mall to take care of it. It cost me P40 for a SIM, which included unlimited calls, texts, and 5G data for 3 days. Since my phone is dual SIM capable, I have both my US service and my Philippines service active at all times, and I have it set so the phone automatically switches to whichever data service is better at the moment. Very convenient.

The system for funding a prepaid phone plan, and for choosing what calling, texting, and data options you want, is completely different than in the States, and very confusing to me, but I think I’ve figured it out enough to have a working phone. There are so many little details of daily life to learn anew!

When I landed in Cebu and went through Immigration, they stamped my passport with a 30 day tourist visa. I’ve since gone online and applied for a visa waiver, which gives me another 29 days. It was very easy to do online. I logged into the Bureau of Immigration website on Sunday night, filled out the form and submitted the payment, and on Monday morning I got an email from BI with the waiver attached. So now I’m good until Christmas Day, December 25.

I believe in December, when I apply for a visa extension (I don’t know why the first extension is called a waiver, and then you subsequently apply for extensions) I can also apply for my ACR card. ACR is Alien Certificate of Registration and is a government issued ID card for non-citizens living in the Philippines.

The other significant thing I’ve been working on is finding a long-term rental. This Airbnb is okay, but it’s relatively expensive, it’s very tiny, and I don’t love the location as much as I thought I would. I looked at a one-bedroom unit that’s currently available at a condo complex called Avida Storey. It had a reasonable amount of space, but the way it’s laid out makes no sense and results in a tiny living room with a significant amount of wasted space by the kitchen. The plus side to Avida is that I really like the complex. There are a lot of conveniences on-site, including a 7-Eleven, a water refill station, and a laundry service, as well as some coffee shops and restaurants. The pool area is really nice, and shaded in the afternoon, and there seems to be more air there. It’s also not right on a main road, which I am here.

So I didn’t like the unit I looked at, but there’s a different one-bedroom unit coming available in early December, and that one has a much better layout with a decent sized living room. Right now I am waiting to hear if they will discount the rent if I sign a one-year lease.

This was meant to go out on Friday, and it is now Sunday morning. So I should properly rename this entry “Week One Plus Two Days Is In The Books,” but I’m not going to. Such a rebel!